It is hard enough being a parent with a neurotypical child, it is even harder being a parent with a neurodivergent one.
This is for the parents out there with SEND children, those with autism diagnosed and undiagnosed you are not alone! I feel your pain, your fear, your frustration, and your fight.
Now for those of you who might be thinking what SEND stands for, it is Special Educational Needs and Disabilities. This means that some children need special or different support to help them learn, sometimes for a short time and other times for the whole of their school life.
Every child is different which means that their difficulties will manifest in different ways, for example, some may struggle with reading and writing while others could be behaviour or ability to socialise and make friends.
Storytime
This was and still is a very difficult journey for me. I had to learn a lot quickly about SEND when I realised my son was developmentally delayed around 18-20 months old.
I remember being heartbroken when I read one of his nursery reports that said he had no friends due to his difficulty with social communication. He does not use language to communicate and to this day he has never called me “mommy”.
He has been evaluated by several professionals, from speech therapists to nutritionists because of his picky eating habits to a paediatrician and a school psychologist, just to name a few. There is a suspicion that he may be autistic, but we are on the waiting list for a diagnosis.
This has put us in a tricky situation as I fight to get him into a school. Although he has received an Educational Health Care Plan (EHCP) to get the support he needs at school, several schools have refused to admit him.
Is Inclusion for all or selective?
So I wonder if all this inclusion is just talk and selective action, because why do I as a parent have to fight tooth and nail to get my child into a school just because he is SEND.
Maybe it’s just me, but it does not make sense because his EHCP is useless if it can not be implemented. Plus, he can not go to a special school or have access to an autism-focused department in a school because he has not been diagnosed.
As you can see, that’s just a snippet of some of the struggles I’m dealing with when it comes to my SEND 4-year-old. All that in addition to his behavioural difficulties and the anxieties that come with it like his lack of awareness when we are out and about, he’s prone to running into the road.
It’s A LOT! Those who can relate know it’s not easy. Parenting comes with its own problems, add SEND into the mix and those rise to a whole other level.
A little encouragement
But as parents, we do what we have to do for our babies. Those of you who are feeling overwhelmed, lonely, tired, frustrated, and irritated you are not alone. I have felt all these things it can be a roller coaster of emotions.
Keep fighting through them, keep being patient and it will get easier with time. I’m saying all these things not only to you but to myself also.
You have got this!
And with that I’ll leave you with this:
“Autism and SEND don’t come with a manual they come with a parent that never gives up.”
Unknown
